When a flower doesn't bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.

It is so easy to point the finger at others our ourselves. For some reason, we tend to place blame quickly. Either we messed up or whatever we failed to get. Very rarely do we slow down to try to understand the different layers and parts that contribute to the problem. We see, our society tends to see an issue and then fix or change the issue as quickly as possible without considering more than the presenting problems. This is a problem!

If we take anything away from our mind, take this! We are all a part of many different system and the way each part of the system functions impacts the other parts and the whole. 

We are a part of family system, friendship system, work system, community system, team..., etc. We have a role in all of these systems and we feel a certain way about ourselves in those system. We have a job to do and if we don't do it well, the whole system will be impacted. Similarly, if the rest of system is not doing their part, it will be difficult for us to thrive in our role. Sure, we can all independently thrive, but we will always be a t our best if all part of the system functioning at their greatest. 

So when the flower is not blooming, we just don't send the flower off to therapy, we just don't tell that flower that it needs to get its act together or else. We look at the other parts of system. We change the amount of sunlight or water, we check the soil. Ideally the flower, sun, water and soil would all come into therapy and we'd talk about each part but seriously we have to stop placing blame on other parts of any system. Check the environment, if someone is struggling ask yourself what you could be doing differently? and if you are struggling, know it is not all on you only. 

If we can start improving our systems, our environments, the parts would all do better. - Rinawati Nainggolan.